A Walk Through The Desert - Losing Control

A Walk Through The Desert – Losing Control

A few summers ago, I was in a relationship (with who I shall refer to as The Ex or TE) that was starting to collapse for a number of reasons. Because of this, an argument happened. It got so bad that I snapped. My then budding anxiety seized hold and I was no longer in control. I couldn’t breath. I could barely walk. I felt like I was dying, or very close to it. And so TE took me to the hospital…

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How To Fail At Promoting Your Cosplay Event

How To Fail At Promoting Your Cosplay Event

Last Thursday, I received an email through the contact page of my website. It was from someone who titled themselves the “Social Media Manager” at HitFix Entertainment News. Here is the body of the email:

“Thought you and any of your fans headed to #SDCC this year might be interested in knowing about our cosplay contest. Pretty amazing prizes, including VIP access to our party being co-hosted by…

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Crowdsourcing - Haters Gonna Hate

Crowdsourcing – Haters Gonna Hate

As you know, I recently re-launched my Youtube channel and my website along with this shiny new blog. I also happened to re-launch my *Patreonpage, my crowdsourcing platform of choice. So I posted it around on social media, like your do.  And while most people are perfectly fine with either pledging some extra cash or not, there are the few that scream bloody murder and act like you are…

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I don’t normally rant, but scenes like this is why I love Mad Men. There is something the writers of this show are pointing out about misogyny that speaks volumes to me (especially living on a college campus and overhearing not so different conversations).

First, it points out rape culture, “you have to give them an excuse. That’s what I always say,” and if you didn’t know a stinger is a kind of drink. So basically they are talking about how they get girls drunk to then exploit their drunken state, a common strategy of rapist.

Second, the WAY they talk about sex and women is what’s hateful, not that they talk about sex and women. I think it’s important to point of Don’s imperfections (as we all know he is no hero nor feminist) and his reaction, as I interpret it, is that he takes issue with these two strangers on the elevator talking about sex with a woman present. He tolerated it before the woman was in the elevator. He takes off the man’s hat because he is not being a gentlemen in front of the lady. To him, what they are saying is INAPPROPRIATE not wrong. 

This scene automatically made me think about the distinctions between how you hear men talk about women and sex and how you hear women talk about men and sex (not ALL men and not ALL women its a generalization deal with it). There is a way to talk about sex and even your own sexual encounters without belittling the person you were intimate with. There is no sense of mutuality or respect in this conversation. 

The man to the far right slept with a woman from his office. He simultaneously speaks about her as a slut and a child, a slut for sleeping with him (which he throughly pursued by get her drunk) and then proceeds to mock her for getting drunk off of just a few drinks and for her childish underwear (“she’s a little girl”). Him and his co-working are laughing at her. He speaks about her as if she wasn’t a person, but a story, a gag, an accomplishment. There is no respect for her or her privacy. She is now defined by this sexual encounter for them. She is no longer anything else, nothing that she was before, she is what this story says of her. 

Finally, I think what I find most striking about this interaction is how I have heard somethings too similar. In the dorm, dinning hall, library, wherever, you can overhear conversations about a girl being a slut because she slept with the guy accusing her of being a slut (what does that make him?) or how a girl was pretty but too much of a slut for him, or a girl being too virginal to put out and a waste of time trying to hook up with.

Different decade, same sexist crap.

(don’t feel bad about deleting this before reblogging)